How To Help, Without Helping!

helping others Jul 16, 2021

I hope this finds you doing well.

Have you ever found yourself trying to help someone with their problems or challenges, and found that either that they don't seem to connect with your help or it seems to actually rev them up more?

Perhaps you've been touched by coaching yourself, and then see a friend or family member struggling with a situation that you've overcome. You try and share what helped you, and find yourself stumbling around to little effect and end up feeling deflated or frustrated.

Why does this happen? What makes the difference between those that we are able to 'help' and those that we can't? Is it our words, our stories or our techniques? If you are familiar with the Three Principles - is it your ability to eloquently share the definitions of the Principles themselves?

As someone who has trained and mentored other coaches, it's very common to think that 'helping' someone is about the content of what we share or the tool / techniques that we have trained in. It's also very common, if we have been helped by a coach, to think that if we want to help others, we have to train as a coach, and recently I have had many people ask me about training as a coach for this very reason.

But are those things really true?

Well from what I see there is an often overlooked ingredient, within all of us, that can help others organically, even if we aren't actually trying to help someone. Whilst there is absolutely a place for you to become a coach in this world and train in the art of sitting with another human being to facilitate change (and I'd love to help you on that journey should you choose to pursue it), however...

...I don't know that everyone needs to become a coach to make a difference in the world.

In today's video I share an 'everyday' example of how I was able to help my daughter with her tantrums that points to how we can all bring about change in the world without necessarily becoming a coach.  You'd think as a coach that helping my daughter might be an easy thing to do simply because of my experience of working with clients and my training as a coach.  However, what I hope to bring to life from this example is how my ability to help her transformed not so much because of what I was doing, but rather because how I 'showed up' to her began to change as my own understanding of anger became clearer.

Click above to watch the video.

If you resonate with what I share in this video and want to find out how you can become more of a transformative influence in the world, improve your existing coaching skills or begin to train as a coach, full details of the Heart of Impact programme are now available. Click here to find out more about the programme.

Lots of love,

John x




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