Why It Sometimes Gets Worse Before It Gets Better

Oct 11, 2021

I hope this finds you well.

I wanted to stop by and say a quick "Hello" and give you all a little update on what I have been noticing showing up for me personally in the last few weeks.  I also wanted to address those of you who have expressed an interest in the membership program called "The Retreat" that I advertised a few weeks ago.

This is something of a blog post rather than an email, I invite you to read through the whole thing and see what lands for you. It might be worth coming back to it in a few days and see it with fresh eyes considering how much is covered.

In the last few months, you may have noticed that I have developed and built a number of programs, and then for various reasons not ended up launching them.  In part this is because I've had so much on my plate personally (and still do), that I have just found myself needing to look after things close to home, leaving me much less time for much else.

But it's a little deeper than that.  

Personally I have also found myself going through a massive transformational shift in recent months.  I have noticed lots of changes - diet / friendships / relationships / interests / even habits from years, have just started to shift all by themselves.  

I’m not “doing” any of this. It’s just happening. I guess you could say that something deep within me has decided to evolve me beyond my previous senses of identity.  It's meant that every time I build a program it quickly begins to feel out of date before I’ve even had a chance to launch it!  

I’ve likened this process to a form of ego erasure to those who I have spoken to about it and going through it feels a bit how I imagine a caterpillar might feel as it begins the process of turning into ‘goo’ inside its chrysalis as it transforms into a butterfly. 

I’ve noticed that I don’t seem to be that scared of this process. In fact I’ve been through similar before albeit nothing quite as all encompassing. I’m also not surprised it’s happening. The world is changing rapidly and from what I can see there are various forces energetically that are calling us, as a collective, to evolve past our outdated versions of ourselves. if you are curious about some of these forces, I'd encourage you to spend some time looking up information about the current astrological alignments that we are experiencing this year, along with exploring the intense solar activity that has been ongoing for some time. 

I'd understand if you were sceptical about these subjects, but over time it has become clearer to me that we are, at our heart, energetic beings living in an energetic universe.  If you have found yourself struggling with physical or emotional symptoms recently, you may wish to consider this.  If the fundamental energetics behind our reality are shifting, then it makes sense to me that the form of our lives would also change.  

To see a visual of how this works have a look at this YouTube clip, which shows the effect of changing energetic vibrations on grains of sand held on a metal plate (called a Chladni plate). 

You will notice that the stability of the positions of the pieces of sand are dependant upon the sound vibration that is being resonated onto the plate. As the frequency of that sound changes, the grains of sand are relocated to new areas on the plate to create a new form. This is what I sense is happening to me, and many of us, right now. New energies are relocating us, perhaps physically in some cases, to take up new places in the collective, and that process is ongoing and on some level needs to play out. 

This for me explains why there is so much tension in the world. When our nature decides to evolve us there is often a resistance and a holding on of 'control' that occurs as we cling to our old versions of ourselves and our world. But experience tells me that when this happens the resistance is ultimately futile.  Life is going to take us where it wants and as the old saying goes, we can either “Let go or be dragged”!  

Of course there maybe physical and emotional symptoms that arise as these fluctuations occur, and I feel that it is really important to emphasise this to people, given how a lot of people know me for my work with physical health.  This 'energetic dynamic' is one that has become much more prominent in conversations that I have with clients.  Some have become confused as to why they are experiencing symptoms even after they have become much quieter in their minds.  Of course, you should always check symptoms with a doctor, but I have increasingly begun to see that many of my own symptoms seem to occur with increases in these energetic events, and that knowing this influence is there greatly helps to mitigate concern about what is going on.  There is in fact quite a lot of peer reviewed research which points to how we cannot separate our experience and our symptoms from energetic influences. 

Here's one such article from NASA:

For the most part I’ve managed to be pretty graceful with this experience and just let go. I’ve been able to do this a little easier than perhaps I might have previously for a few reasons I think. Partly, because I know that this is what it feels like to be remade anew. It’s familiar and I know eventually I ‘land‘ somewhere again.  It’s interesting though, because I’ve also described this process by likening it to someone cleaning the lines off a whiteboard where the lines represent our ego or sense of identity. In the past it has felt like once the lines were wiped they would be replaced by new lines drawn differently.  

But this time it feels like I am being called to live more from simply the blank space of the whiteboard as it’s no longer appropriate to try and fix myself into something given how much I am (and we are) being required to adapt to changes in the form of our lives. 

Again this would have been far more problematic if I was still lost in my old misunderstanding that the lines on that whiteboard were more powerful than the blank space.

My journey over the years have forced me to see the power of the unknown and how it is in fact the space where the deepest wisdom of my soul exists. 

I also know this time around the feelings of grief, sadness, anger, frustration and occasional anxiety that arise as these lines are erased are all safe to experience and simply the result of my ego being pulled apart by my higher intelligence. Yes, it’s not always fun, but resistance only adds thinking to the mix and creates suffering. For the first time I’m not choosing suffering in experiencing this. I know better this time and so I’m just in a space of allowance and for that, and the solace that comes from that, I’m deeply grateful. 

I’ve also been asked if I am hopeful what I see unfolding in the world, and I have two answers to that. First, the more we can see the potential of what I’ve written above, the more resilient and ‘at peace’ we can be regardless of what happens to the form of our lives. So if you are looking for peace by hoping that the world is going to settle into something ‘good’ (whatever your flavour of that is), I’d gently point you to go back within and look for your peace there.

Some of my other blogs referenced at the bottom maybe useful for this exploration.  I can’t tell you for sure if things will turn out ‘good’ but I can for sure point you towards the peace that we all seek by hoping for things to work out ‘good’, and thus help you see more of where that really is irrespective of what happens. 

I will say this about the external situation though. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better and I see this with client work all the time. It’s actually a good thing - a sign that a client is becoming more resourceful and able to face shadow aspects of themselves that were previously hidden. They come to the surface to be seen and recognised so that a client can come to a more aligned position with their deepest truth. It’s a sign that their consciousness is rising not falling!

I made a little video about this. See here:

Why It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better

More and more of us are beginning to see signs of this dynamic in our personal and collective worlds. For me it’s important that we don’t turn away from these things that are surfacing. As with the clients I work with, we need to acknowledge things as they are before we can evolve past them. Again, the more we can see just how we are built to be resilient with the process of change the more we will allow this and the higher we will vibrate with our highest potential. This in itself contributes towards making for a more tolerant, respectful and loving world.  

The other thing I’d say is look at how beautiful the images are on the Chladni plate as the frequency of the sound rises!  Yes there is a breaking down of the old pattern but it’s not breaking into a quagmire. It’s being reformed into something new and more beautiful, and ultimately this is my sense of where we are headed as we go through these changes. 

What does all this mean for my work?  Well honestly I don’t know! I just want to be of service as best I can, and my ego seems to have so much less say than it once did about the form that should take. 

I can let you know that in the background we are preparing to make some of our courses into self study programs and that we may run a slightly modified version of the Foundations of Health program incorporating some of the above information in the near future.

I’m also toying with the idea of running a limited number of reduced price one to one coaching sessions, and I’d love to know if I did do these what sort of things are coming up for you all right now that you’d like some support with. Feel free to post them in the telegram group or reply to this email and let me know. 

Similarly If you're going through something similar or you are interested in hearing more about what I have written above I’d love to hear. Or if there's anything else you feel like sharing be it new insights, problems or things you're exploring feel free to reply and let us know.  If you would like to to access the Telegram group, you can do so here:

Please know I won’t always be able to reply to shares but I do read through them and they often filter into the work I do one way or another.

Sending you all so much love and if you are going through something similar, I want to remind you that your peace does not lie in holding on.  It will show up the minute you stop trying to control the process or shape it into something.

From what I see, peace is a space under our thinking and there’s a wisdom there that the mind will never fathom (and doesn’t need to)!

John x

Here are some previous blogs that it may also be helpful for you to revisit:

Space of Peace -

Adapting To Change -

Navigating Uncertainty -




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